Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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