he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
