hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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