whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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