i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
