hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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