Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
