What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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