I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
