i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
