Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
