Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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