5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
