Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
