JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
