I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
