I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
