When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
