Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
