She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
