the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize