Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize