One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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