A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
