Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
