Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
