So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
