Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize