Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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