She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
