i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He shit in the fireplace
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