capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
This house was built for laser tag.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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