One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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