ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
