Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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