Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
