she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
