Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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