i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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