i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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