Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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