I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
