i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i will never coherently bang her
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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