did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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