i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
