he thought i was a dude.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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