So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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