Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
