i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
