SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I party with great urgency now.
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