SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
