I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
