I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
