operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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