Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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