What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
