GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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